


Come and Get Me

by ionlyloveyouironically



Series: hey, old lover [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Demisexual Character, M/M, Morning Wood, and I don't mean the band, discussion of demisexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-19 04:26:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9418688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ionlyloveyouironically/pseuds/ionlyloveyouironically
Summary: Andrew finally, after knowing each other for 15 years, asks Neil about his sexuality.





	

**Author's Note:**

> In-depth discussion about sex drives and boners, plus a scene at the end where sex vaguely happens, so watch for that.
> 
> Title is a lyric from Hello Lover by Empires.

Andrew only brings it up one day because Neil walks into the kitchen with morning wood.

He’s sitting at the kitchen table one Saturday morning fending off his bowl of cereal from King, who sits on the table a foot away and halfheartedly reaches out to Andrew’s bowl every now and then. Cereal companies decided in the past few years that the sure fire way to make children eat their cereals are to put marshmallows in them, something that Andrew doesn’t believe but isn’t complaining about. He’s on a mission to try every single marshmallow’d cereal in America, and while it isn’t the greatest of ambitions, it’s still something he wants to do.

Neil shuffles into the kitchen and sleepily waves at Andrew on his way to the coffeemaker. Their game last night was a rough one, and Neil had slept in instead of going on his morning run. He starts the coffee and turns to say something to Andrew, only to pause and stare at Andrew.

That’s most likely because Andrew is staring at Neil. Or more specifically, his crotch. Through Neil’s (ugly, worn, thin, _awful_ ) sweatpants, Andrew can plainly see Neil’s hard dick. Which in itself isn’t scandalous since Andrew’s seen Neil naked plenty of times, but morning wood? To Andrew’s knowledge, Neil’s never had it before.

Neil looks at him blankly for a moment before he follows his gaze and looks down. “Oh.” He turns his back to Andrew and leans his hip against the counter to wait for the coffee, and says to Andrew over his shoulder, “Ignore it, it’ll go away in a minute.” Then he pivots more while still keeping his hips faced firmly and says, seriously, “Unless you want me to go.”

“No,” Andrew answers, tapping King’s paw with his spoon when the cat thinks it’s safe to try for the cereal again. He takes a bite of cereal and asks around it, “Do you need to take care of it?”

“No, it usually goes away on its own.” He rubs at his eyes, and is that a flush creeping up Neil’s neck?

“Usually?”

Neil turns to give Andrew his Very Unimpressed Face. (That’s what Nicky had named it over a decade ago and Andrew still couldn’t stop mentally referring to it as such.) “Yes, usually.”

Half because he’s actually curious, half just to see what Neil will do, Andrew asks, “What happens when it doesn’t go away?”

He gets a scowl for his efforts. “I take a cold shower.” That is definitely a blush on Neil’s unmarked cheek.

“Are you embarrassed?”

Neil knows Andrew doesn’t need to ask, so Neil doesn’t dignify it with a serious answer. The machine beeps, and he gets their coffee ready. “The only thing I’m embarrassed by is how hard last night’s game was.” He walks over to the table and sits down; Andrew notices Neil is completely soft now. “If Kevin knows what you eat for breakfast he’d have a heart attack.”

“If he did I would go to the hospital just to gloat that his diet didn’t do a single thing to prevent it.” Andrew allows the deflection for now, and they move on.

///

It doesn’t _bother_ Andrew, but he does think about it. He’d never seen any sign of Neil having a libido without Andrew around, which seems a bit suspicious before Andrew reminds himself that he trusts Neil.

He wonders. Neil had acted like this was at least a somewhat regular occurrence, even if Andrew had never noticed it before. Which means, since they’ve been living together for over a decade with three years splitting the time in half, Neil had hidden it from him. Which was suspicious even though Neil probably had a myriad of reasons for doing so.

Andrew had never really believed Neil when he said he didn’t swing. Nicky had claimed Neil was just lying about being gay, and Andrew would have called him out on the wishful thinking back then if Neil hadn’t been so utterly disinterested in women while also being obsessed with Kevin. But now Andrew was calling all of that into question, and that’s something he really didn’t enjoy doing.

He brings it up again a week later when they’re on a day trip. They’re roaring down a twisting highway that’s been rendered useless by a nearby interstate, and Neil’s staring pleasantly out the window. “Why were you embarrassed about your erection?”

Neil turns to him, and Andrew can make out a comical mix of incredulity and embarrassment on his face from the corner of his eye. “Andrew, what…?”

“When you came in the kitchen with morning wood,” Andrew reminds him, flashing him a quick look to show that he’s annoyed at doing so.

“Um?” Neil looks around for a moment as if trying to escape the conversation, and Andrew didn’t know that he was so wildly uncomfortable with the subject. Interesting. “I don’t know? It’s just. Kind of embarrassing.”

“Why?” Neil makes a gesture with his hand that Andrew really doesn’t know what to make of, so he pushes. “Are you embarrassed when I have an erection?”

Neil resigns himself to the conversation and runs a hand down his warm face. “No, Andrew.”

Andrew looks at him, and the curve of his eyebrow says _so why?_

“It’s just…” Neil gathers his words for a moment. “It’s embarrassing because that isn’t something I want my body to be doing. It does it because it’s a bodily function that I can’t help, like my stomach growling when I’m hungry. It’s just something else that needs to be taken care of, but it’s not really anything I take- pleasure, I guess, in.”

Andrew looks at him, face blank. “You’ve never-”

“I have, yeah. But not because I necessarily _enjoyed_ it. It was just the fastest way to get it to go away.” Andrew is silent while he thinks that over, and Neil goes on. “I guess I was embarrassed because _I_ know that it’s nothing inherently sexual. It’s just something my body does and I don’t have any desire to even act on it except to get it to go away. But other people would look at it and turn it into something that it’s not, which wouldn’t bother me, but-”

“But I was the other person there.” Andrew says it because he doesn’t want to hear Neil say it in a nicer way.

Neil looks at him carefully. “Does that bother you?”

Andrew thinks about it. Does it bother him? He truthfully doesn’t know. “I have never understood when you say you do not swing,” he says instead. “You and I have done plenty of that kind of thing, and you’ve enjoyed it to _my_ knowledge.”

He huffs. “I _do_ enjoy it when we have sex, Andrew. This is different, though.”

“How is it different?” The conversation was starting to agitate Andrew, and his hands gripped tighter at the steering wheel.

“It’s different because it’s _with you_. I don’t feel either way about it when it’s just something my body does, but I like the things we do together. I _want_ to do the things we do together. It’s not something we _have_ to do, but it’s still something I would like to continue doing with you.”

He turns this over in his head, glances at Neil, who’s staring openly and firmly at him. “You don’t have a sex drive at all?”

“I do when it’s you.” He doesn’t even have to look over to know Neil’s grinning cheekily at him. He ignores it.

“Why would you hide it from me?”

Neil understands what Andrew means. “Partly because I was embarrassed, like I said. Partly was because I’m used to it, from living with my mom like that.” Andrew should’ve known Mary Hatford had a part to play in this. “And also, I didn’t- I know you don’t understand, about this. Because you have a sex drive and I don’t. So I didn’t want you to see and think that I necessarily wanted something when it’s just something that happens regardless. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“I wasn’t uncomfortable,” Andrew tells him, disregarding the road to make eye contact for a moment. “It bothered me that you thought it was something you had to hide.”

Neil twists his fingers together in his lap. “Does it bother you at all, though? That that’s something only my body wants sometimes?”

The major distinction Neil has been stressing this whole time is that Neil’s _body_ is the thing that wants sex, not necessarily Neil himself. Andrew supposes that’s the main difference between libido and sex drive, according to Neil’s usage. Neil has a libido, because his body gets aroused by itself, but Neil seems to only have a sex drive when in the context of him and Andrew together.

If Neil’s worried about Andrew being uncomfortable about Neil wanting him like that, Neil is mistaken. It’s almost surprising to even Andrew how little that bothers him. But, like Neil said, _they_ are different. Neil doesn’t look at Andrew like something to be had. He doesn’t even think about his own pleasure when Andrew gets him off; he always asks if or where he’s allowed to touch Andrew or what Andrew wants.

“It doesn’t bother me,” Andrew answers. “I don’t care if you get morning wood or not.”

Neil smiles, small and vaguely relieved. “Okay.” He turns to look back out the window.

Andrew hates him. He doesn’t fully understand, because he can’t. He very much does have a sex drive, and usually now at this point in his life he very much enjoys the act itself of sex. It’s strange to him that Neil doesn’t actively think about it, but it doesn’t bother Andrew as long as Neil is still an eager participant.

He hates him as Neil traces his fingers over the back of his hand where it rests on the gearshift, he hates him as he exits off and starts the journey home, and he hates him when he pushes him against the locked door of their bedroom and kisses him hard.

“Did all that talk about sex turn you on?” Neil teases. Andrew doesn’t reply, partially because it’s a stupid question, but mostly because Neil’s teeth scraping lightly on the skin of his collarbone is driving him to distraction.

Andrew still hates him after, when they’re both getting their breathing under control and Sir Fat Cat is scratching at their bedroom door to be let in. Andrew throws a shoe on the ground in front of the door, and Sir dashes away down the hall.

“Be nice,” Neil mumbles from where his face is pressed to the pillow. Neil is largely useless after sex, and Andrew had put extra effort into taking him apart tonight.

They lay in bed, Neil on his stomach after a quick wipe-down, Andrew on his side facing him. Andrew traces a finger lightly over Neil’s back, and Neil hums, content. Andrew knows he’s about to fall asleep soon. “Why do you like doing this?”

That’s the reason he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about it, the thing that hadn’t made sense. If Neil could garner just as much pleasure from other activities, why let Andrew…

“Because I like it,” Neil answers. He cracks an eye open to look at Andrew. “It feels good, it makes you feel good, we both enjoy it. It’s something you trust me with. And it’s not really about the sex, even though I do like that. I just like being with you.”

Andrew stares at him for a short moment before shoving Neil’s face into the pillow and laying down. “Shut up and go to sleep, dumbass.”

Neil smiles and stretches. “Good night, Andrew.”

Andrew watches him sleep until he follows. He dreams of nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm ace, so I tried to write this as best I could. Asexuality is of course a spectrum, so it varies from person to person. Neil's description doesn't apply to every ace/demi person out there.
> 
> I'm also a goblin who subsists off comments and kudos, or interactions on my [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/1980salienboi) and [tumblr](http://1980salienboi.tumblr.com/)


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